Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize