Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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