While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
