Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
