Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
