I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
