Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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