My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
