real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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