ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Randomize
