A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
