I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
