My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
