I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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