he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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