I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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