Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
