smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
