I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
