How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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