When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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