I showed him my bush... on skype.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
