I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
