May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
What a dumb baby whore.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
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