How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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