Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
