Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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