You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
