I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
