I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
