K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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