i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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