another moral hangover. fuck.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
