You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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