If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Randomize
