Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
