dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
