also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
