I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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