so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
