so that wasnt chicken after all
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
