Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize