No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize