I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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