when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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