he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
