I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
