Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
