So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
where are you?
Hypothermia
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
