come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
