hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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