So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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