You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
