Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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