Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
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