it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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