Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
