That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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