She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
wanna go halves on a baby?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize