do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
