So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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