matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
