Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
