I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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